Obituary of the late Mr. “Common Sense”

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, “Common Sense” who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

Knowing when to come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life isn’t always fair, and maybe it was my fault.

“Common Sense” lived by a simple, sound financial policy like, don’t spend more than you can earn, also by reliable strategies like, adults are in charge not children.

His health of “Common Sense” began to deteriorate rapidly when well intentioned regulations were set in place like requiring parental consent to administer sun lotion or a band-aid to a student, but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

“Common Sense” lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that parents themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.

“Common Sense” lost the will to live as the churches became businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their victims.

“Common Sense” finally gave up the will to live, after a women failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, spilled some in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.

“Common Sense” was preceded in death, by His parents, "Truth" and "Trust;" His wife, "Discretion;" His daughter, "Responsibility;" His son, "Reason".

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers; "Only my life matters;" "I know my rights;" "I want it now;" and "I’m a victim".

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

(This is a modified version of a text that is originally attributed to Lori Borgman.)